out of the mouths of eye docs...(in Englisch, aus Amerika)

[christine]

Hallo Ihr alle!
Hier das hab ich aus dem amerikanischen Forum...es laeuft unter dem Titel:
"You know you are in trouble when the doctor says....(out of the mouths of eye docs)"
Enjoy it!
LG
Christine




"Hush", said the surgeon. "You're talking too loud".

"Your brain just has to get used to seeing this way."

Note on medical record from my LASIK surgeon: "Patient is very angry!!!"

From the optomotrist trying to fit me with hard lenses for the last three months: "Perhaps you should undergo a psychological profile to determine if your mentally fit to handle the results of LASIK surgery."

"Just try not to notice the ghosts."

From the centers OD after commenting on nightmare night conditions:
"Just drive around with your domelight on or have someone else drive."

"There is no need to worry - give it time"


"I can assure you that has absolutedly nothing got to do with lasik."

"At your age you would have developed dry eyes anyway."

Me: What is happening to me? Why are the starbursts getting larger?
Surgeon: Give it time, you're "micro-healing".

Me: (while being refracted by tech, with one letter on the Snellen chart at 20/40) "I can't see anything, it's a gray blur."
Tech: "Ok, give yourself a few minutes and try again."
Me: "I still can't see anything, the letter is superimposed over itself so many times it's a blur."
Tech: "Just try your best guess."
Me: " What part of "I can't see it" don't you understand?!"


Before Lasik: "Of course you can wear contact lenses after lasik. But don't worry about - you won't need them."
After Lasik: "You're going to have to wear RGP contact lenses to reduce the multiple images you have from your central islands and to reduce the GASH. Don't expect to see as well as you did with your RGPs prior to lasik."


Before lasik:
Me: What is the worst thing that can happen to me?
Surgeen: You will still need glasses to drive, but dont worry, it will not happen.
(BTW-he was right-I don't need glasses to drive-I can not drive at all)
After lasik:
"Your eyes is great, I dont know why you are saying that you can not see well"
"Go home and enjoy your vision- don't come to my clinic again-everything is ok with you"
"Wait an year or two....we will have a good option for reducing double images and GASH"


The setting: a small, dark exam room. I'm looking through the refraction machine at an eye chart projected on the wall. The background consists of bright white light and the letters and numbers are black.
Among my post-Lasik problems: I have trouble with starbursts and halos in the dark, and with lights in general, by day and night.
The situation: The surgeon is dialing in alternate possible corrections to my prescription.
What I'm trying to do: explain how my vision is troubled and why I'm not sure of my responses, because it is difficult for me to interpret smudged black letters on a fuzzy white background in a dark room.
Surgeon: "What I ASKED you to do was to say if you like 'one' or 'two' better! All you have to do is SAY 'one,' or 'two'!
Those are the ONLY right answers! Anything else is JUST WASTING TIME!"


from one of the techs in my surgeon's office, "You SHOULD be able to see this!!" (Duh, if I could I wouldn't be here for the 50th time! She said this on two different visits before I complained to my surgeon.)

from the first "low-vision" OD whom I saw:
"Your vision isn't bad enough. We can't help you. Come back when your vision gets worse."
(I think I was 20/50 in one eye and 20/80 in the other at the time.)

from the field coordinator at my university: "I don't understand--Why don't you just put on a pair of glasses?" (Gee, thanks, that hadn't occurred to me in the last 6 months. You should be an eye care professional.)


"I want you to go home and meditate each night that you LIKE your glasses"
Said by my surgeon at 9 months post op with significant regression.


"Only second to you, did I want your surgery to be a success!"

"We just need a tincture of time." ??????

"We will have to wait for technology to catch up with YOUR problems."

"We have had only one other patient with your complications."

"We have improved our standards of care since your surgery. Oh! We have TWO new lasers now, would you like to SEE them?"



"So, are you glad you had LASIK?"
(Co-managing ODs asked this one. I say "ODs" because I was seeing two of him in one eye and three in the other. DUH!!!)



"Just don't look at the moon! Haven't you seen it enough times in your life?"


"Of course, you KNOW you had SUPER-HUMAN vision before LASIK with your glasses. There's no way LASIK can duplicate THAT......"

"That MUST have been a condition you had BEFORE LASIK. You just never noticed that you had it!"


"You're just going to have to drive carefully. You know, there are a lot of one-eyed drivers out there."


I say, "I never had an erosion before surgery". They say, "It's NOT related to the surgery - the laser is used to TREAT erosions"


"Are you always this emotional?"


Surgeon, frowning over a 20/50 refraction: "I know I CALCULATED it for 20/20."


After I described my ghosting to the doc, he said, "Wow. I've never HEARD of that."
(D-uh...it's in the very first paragraph of YOUR list of "possible complications.")

Said recently by a "second opinion" doctor to a person with severe post-Lasik complications:
"What's done is done."


"Well, I did PRK on my wife and SHE'S happy". Like that's supposed to be a consolation....

Surgeon: "You just notice things other people don't."

OD: "LASIK didn't cause your astigmatism. It was just how you healed."

"you are a very sensitive person, it will take you longer to adjust to "Lasik vision correction."
(like my whole life?)

"don't read those Web sites"
(why, because I will be informed of how you screwed up? because I will find a community of Lasik victims, such as myself? because I will find support?)


From my second opinion doc after he suggested that I would see much better out of contacts for my lasik induced hyperopia than I was currently seeing with readers.
quote
Me: but my lasik surgeon discouraged me from getting contacts-why would he do that?
Dr Second Opinion: Well he probably didn't want to admit defeat. You have to understand that as disapointing as it is for the patient with a bad outcome, it's also hard for the surgeon to achieve a less than sucessful outcome.

"looks like your eyes are a little dry, I'll just put in some lower punctal plogs to take care of that, it's great, you'll love it!" Just for the record, it's been 9 months and I am definitly not "lovin it!"


"The contacts will give you great vision. You just have to try harder to see out of them"

1)="INTERESTING!" The doc took off my bandages day after Lasik & later he was in the hall talking to another doc using that word; he brought him in & he looked at my eyes "INTERESTING(blah, blah, blah)" I knew this was not good!! When I asked they said something about dots or pools, but did NOT explain that I had Map Dot Fingrprint Dystrophy!
Guess I should be happy it was so 'interesting' for them!
2)="We overdid it; next time we'll give ya a little close up vision" (Excuse me but it is not a new hair-do!)
3)="The best decision was MADE FOR YOU" (In explaning why he did Lasik without telling me I had a corneal disease!)


Regarding PRK vs. LASIK - I told my doc I wanted the procedure that would give me the best vision. He told me the LASIK would be equal to PRK.
During LASIK on the right eye: "The dye sunk in too far. Do you mind if I do PRK on the left?"
During PRK on the left eye "You know, this is the procedure we do on fighter pilots." Me: "Does that mean I can go out and fly planes now?"
During a post-op exam: "I just love PRK eyes. They're so pristine compared to LASIK eyes." (Great. NOW you tell me!)
Said by a tech post-op, after I told her that no matter how she refracted the right eye it was not as clear as the left eye: "We get that a lot from patients who have had LASIK in one eye and PRK in the other." (Why the heck do you do LASIK at all then?)


"You were onvercorrected with your glasses before the Lasik. Now your eyes are just "craving" that extra correction you had."

From the post-op co-managing OD two weeks post op:
"What's the smallest line you can read on the chart?"
". . . I can't read anything."
"You must be able to see SOMETHING."
"I can see something, I just can't READ anything. Which of the three charts am I supposed to focus on? And how come everything looks like it has fur all over it? And why is everything so pale?"
"I don't know how you can be seeing that."

and four months post op:
"Wow, I can really see that inflammation now! They finally gave me a slit lamp that works!"

"Wow, your tear breakup time is like, under a second!"

From a second-op surgeon eight months post op:
"Well, you're unique. I've never seen a pattern from DLK like THAT before. Would you mind having that right eye photographed for educational purposes?"

and my most favorite, guaranteed to induce guilt were I so inclined...
"You should have talked to me first..."